We get it. Dr Google is everyone’s best friend. No co-pay, no waiting room, and let’s face it—available at 2am when your child tells you, “My eyes feel funny.” Just type a few words, and voilà! Instant diagnosis. No appointment, no cost, no problem.
But let’s be honest... how well has that worked out?
We’ve all done it—us included. We’ve googled a mild twitch and ended up convinced we were growing a third eyelid. It’s not about judgment—it’s about making a conscious decision not to spiral into the algorithmic doom pit. Because the internet’s version of your child’s sore eyes? Usually way more dramatic than reality.
Why Does Google Always Think It’s the Worst-Case Scenario?
Because algorithms aren’t medical professionals—they’re digital hype machines.
The internet is built to give you engaging content. That means dramatic, attention-grabbing results rise to the top. So when you Google “Why is my child blinking a lot?” the algorithm skips the “maybe dry eyes” explanation and jumps straight to “RARE BRAIN CONDITION LINKED TO EYE BLINKING.” Why? Because you’re more likely to click it. And then panic. And click another one. And another...
It’s not medicine. It’s marketing.
Take a deep breath and have a chuckle — we’re thrilled Dr Google was wrong (again), and even more thrilled that your vision is good enough to read this light-hearted little list.
10 Ridiculous (and Slightly Panic-Inducing) Things People Have Googled About Their Eyes:
- Googled: “Why are my eyes dry?”
- Google says: “You may be allergic to your own tears.”
- Reality: Just take a screen break and try some eye drops.
- Googled: “Why is my vision blurry after looking at my phone?”
- Google says: “You’re going blind.”
- Reality: Blink. Or sleep. Or both.
- Googled: “Why do my eyes twitch?”
- Google says: “It’s a rare neurological disorder.”
- Reality: You’re stressed. Lay off the coffee.
- Googled: “Why do my eyes feel gritty?”
- Google says: “Possibly sand, a bug, or the apocalypse.”
- Reality: Allergies. Or dry air. Chill.
- Googled: “One eye is red – should I worry?”
- Google says: “Internal haemorrhage.”
- Reality: You rubbed it too hard in your sleep. Or a Zoom call.
- Googled: “Why are my eyes watery?”
- Google says: “Repressed emotions from 2004.”
- Reality: Ironically, your dry eyes are overcompensating.
- Googled: “Why does my eye hurt when I blink?”
- Google says: “Possible eye cancer.”
- Reality: Pillow. Face. Pressure. You squashed yourself.
- Googled: “Why do I see floaters?”
- Google says: “Your retina is detaching right now!”
- Reality: Floaters are common. Call us only if you see flashes or shadows.
- Googled: “Why are my eyes red in the morning?”
- Google says: “Chronic illness.”
- Reality: You forgot to remove your mascara. Again.
- Googled: “Is it bad if I see colours when I close my eyes?”
- Google says: “Mini stroke in progress.”
- Reality: No. It’s your optic nerve throwing a disco.
Stop Guessing. Start Checking.
Your child can’t always describe what’s wrong with their vision. They might not even know it’s not normal. That’s why regular check-ups matter. Not every eye issue is urgent, but all vision changes should be taken seriously—by an actual optometrist, not a search bar.
Because squinting at a screen for answers doesn’t solve the problem—seeing us might.
We hope you had a little giggle—we definitely did. And trust us, there’s zero judgement here (except maybe when we catch ourselves falling for Google’s doomsday diagnosis... again). And just to be clear—we’re not bashing Google. But Dr Google? That overly dramatic, panic-inducing character? Yeah, we’ve got some questions.
Come see us instead. We’re much friendlier. And we won’t diagnose your child with something that hasn’t been discovered yet.
